SUFFAR
by The Geeky Quill
Summary: It's a support group for Squibs, non-magical folks. Of course Filch and Mrs. Figg are in it, as well as some other characters. It's kinda dumb and off the wall. I hope you like it. I've dedicated it to RebeccaRoy. Gee, I hope she reads it.


_a/n: dedicated to RebeccaRoy_

S.U.F.F.A.R.

By

The Geeky Quill

A slight young woman with long coal black hair stood at the head of the table. She wore jeans and a pink t-shirt that read S.U.F.F.A.R. in black lettering. She smiled brightly at the four faces sitting round the table.

"Welcome, everyone, to the first official meeting of Squibs United For Friendship And Research. I'm Madeline Moody," she said while she unnecessarily pointed to herself. "I live in Kensington with my brother, Alastor and my basenji, Cleopatra and um..." she chewed off a piece of her fingernail and spit it out, "I'm not really working right now. I'm sort of...between jobs." She gave a slight laugh. "Mr. Filch, would you like to go next?" She smiled at the craggy old man scowling on her left. She sat down.

He stood up and cleared his throat and began, "I'm Argus Filch, caretaker at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is Mrs. Norris," he said holding up his cat. "Stop that right now!" he suddenly yelled at the teenage boy tipping his chair backwards next to him. The boy frowned and tipped the chair back into place with a THUNK. There were a couple of giggles. Filch sat back down, muttering something inaudible.

"Thank you, Mr. Filch and I'm happy to see that you're wearing the club t-shirt," she beamed. "Next," she nodded to the teenager beside Filch.

The young man had black hair, an earing, and bangs that were too long and got into his eyes. He wore a black trench coat and he looked at Madeline sidelong and rolled his eyes. Being there was clearly not his idea. "Hello, I'm Alex and I am a Squib," he said in a sarcastic tone and then added, "and this is stupid."

"Yes, well, lovely," said Madeline as she smirked. Turning to the next person, Madeline cleared her throat to get the elderly lady's attention. She was, at present, smiling coyly at Filch.

"What? Oh! I'm Arabella Figg and this is my pussy." This got the immediate attention of Alex who craned his neck to look over at Mrs. Figg. The lady lifted the cat that was on her lap. "His name's Rupert."

"ACHOO!" sneezed the girl beside Mrs. Figg. Her eyes were red and watery. "Had I done there would be so bady cats, I would nod hab ACHOO! cub."

"What?" said everyone.

"I'b allergic. Adyway, I'b Eba," said the girl.

"Hi Emma," said Madeline, handing the girl a tissue. "I noticed that Mr. Filch and I are the only members who wore our S.U.F.F.A.R. t-shirts," she said in a most teacherly manner. The two ladies hemmed and hawed about them not flattering their figures. Filch beamed with pride and Alex remained aloof until he felt Madeline's eyes on him. He rolled his eyes briefly and opened his coat to reveal that he had on _his_. Being a boy, it was navy blue, like Filch's. Madeline smiled with satisfaction. Mrs. Figg helped herself to one of the donuts on the tray in the center of the table.

"Now," said Madeline, "I thought we'd all-"

"How long is this going to last?" interrupted Alex suddenly from behind his hair.

"Er," said Madeline unhelpfully, then cleared her throat. "So, I think-"

Alex interrupted again, "Is that your motorcycle out front?"

Madeline grinned. "Yes, it's a 1922 Banshee-"

"Oi!" exclaimed Filch. "Don't get her started on her bloody motorcycle."

"Hey!" began Madeline indignantly.

"Oh!" said Mrs. Figg. "You've frightened my pussy!" The half cat, half kneazle leapt onto the table, rasing a puff of cat dander causing Emma to begin another bout of sneezing.

"ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!"

Presently, the door opened and Madeline ran over to it. A lady stood there and said, "Um, we have this room at two and it's two fifteen now."

"What?" said an exasperated Madeline. "O.K." She turned to her group. "Let's scoot over to a pub." Everyone agreed that was a fine idea and began to get up and collect their various pets and such.

"I'm Rebecca Roy," said the lady, shaking Madeline by the hand.

"Hi, I'm Madeline Moody."

"Nice to meet you," said Rebecca, "and you can just leave the donuts."

As Madeline and her group filed out, Rebecca came in, followed by Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, and a very sugar-high Sirius Black.

The End


End file.
